Sunday, May 5, 2013


The day after my egg retrieval, Missy, my beloved dog, fainted on me.
The day I started my Estradiol in preparation for my frozen embryo transfer, we had to let her go.
I will miss that dog so much.

She was my husband's dog and became mine through marriage.  She hated the dog that I brought into the marriage, so we started off on the wrong foot.  But as the years went on, I realized she was in tune with me.  She became more gentle when my period arrived. If there was a thunderstorm, she herded every member of the family into the same room--- I'm talking humans and dogs.  I think she thought that was the only way we could be safe.  On days when my husband went to work and I tried to drown in my sorrows of infertility, she would bark and bark, until I took her for a walk.  I know she probably didn't care that I was depressed, and she certainly wasn't getting me up for my own benefit.  But the fact that she didn't let me stay in that bed, saved my life on many occasions.

What sucks about losing Missy is that she was only ten.  She loved life, walks, my Husband and the youngest canine member of our family, three-year-old Roxie.  Missy developed a tumor that trapped fluid in her heart cavity.  As the fluid built up, her heart couldn't beat properly.  She wasn't in pain, her heart just stopped beating enough to sustain her.  We had that cavity drained three times, before we had to just...let her go:-(

*sigh* The image above is of the calendar my doctor sent me to prepare for the frozen embryo transfer.
I am popping so many pills these days it's ridiculous.  I'm just hoping my hormones don't get the best of me this time.  I'm also hoping for a positive pregnancy test.

I know the combination of subjects in this post are odd, but my Missy and this IVF experience will always be linked in my mind, regardless of the outcome.


  1. I am sorry to hear about missy! Losing a fur kid is not easy!

    1. Thanks, BMar. It was certainly hard to say goodbye to our girl.

  2. Hi Rass-I have to say I lost my beloved dog the day before I started BCPs of the same exact thing (heart tumor filled with fluid). In fact, your dog looks so much like my girl (Aussie mix, right?). It was so much harder going into an IVF heartbroken, not just from IF, but from the loss of my sweet dog. I'm thinking of you and knowing how awful this can be. I still tear up thinking about her over 4 1/2 years later.

    1. Yes! Missy is an Aussie-mix. Wow! I am sorry for your loss as well. It still hurts not matter how many years go by. Furry babies provide a comfort that's hard to duplicate.