Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Doctor Review

Below you will find the review I would post on Yelp, if I wasn't a punk.

Dr. XX is an extremely compassionate doctor and far more accessible than her counterparts, who often pawn you off to nurses.  However, she is human. I need you to remember that.  Would I recommend you to her? Yes. She is always available via email etc.  She is always there for you.  Would I give you a warning? Yes. Read below.

Think for yourself. That seems obvious, but keep reading and hopefully my examples will make you understand why I am telling you this.

1. The day she set a trigger date for my IUI, I asked her about my blood work.  She told me not to worry about it.  We'd talk about it later. After my IUI failed, she told me I had diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) or old eggs.  This should have been my first and only clue to leave the practice or thinking carefully about following her advice.  While she hadn't lied to me directly, she'd lied by omission. I wouldn't have gone forward with the $400 procedure had I known my condition.

2. Because of my old eggs, she said she only expected me to have about two viable eggs out of ten in an IVF situation.  She told me it would be best to genetically test any resulting embryos to be sure they were chromosomally normal.  I took out a loan for my procedures like so many other women.  I chose a package based on the idea that I would be lucky, if I produced any viable embryos at all.  Well, I had 11 eggs.  They all fertilized.  Six made it to day-5 blastocysts.  Five passed genetic testing.  Turns out the genetic testing didn't matter.  I put two chromosomally normal embryos back and my IVF failed.  I didn't even get a chemical pregnancy. It just failed.

3.  After my failure she told me she thought my right tube might have fluid.  My only thought was, "why did she let me go through with this if she thought I had a problem tube?" I had already delayed my transfer over concerns about my fibroids. She assured me there was nothing to worry about it. I guess she forgot about my tube, until my IVF failed.

I am out of options now and out of money. I did everything she told me--- down to the supplements and it didn't work.  That's okay. She's not "god."  However, my pain was magnified because I felt her optimism and compassion may have been misleading. I believed in her because of glowing reviews like the ones below (yelp).  

I'm not here to discourage you from seeing her.  I just want you to be realistic, which I wasn't. Be realistic. If it's meant to be it will happen and I don't think it matters which doctor you see, as long as you have the ability to keep trying.  If you're like me and don't have an infinite supply of money, be thorough and ask lots of questions.  Most important of all, try not to see her when she's pregnant. It hurts more when your doc has a baby and you're still barren.


  1. Sigh. I kind of know how this feels. My RE has been super optimistic, saying things to me like "You'll have to bring in your baby!" which makes me feel my chances are much better than they in fact are. I know they like to be optimistic, but I'd rather they be realistic and practical.

    1. Yes! This infertility thing is a different beast. If it was a question of mind over matter, we'd all be pregnant already.