Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Who Needs a Title?

My period finally came on her own.  My cycle was 51 days.  If I hadn't had a missed period, this one actually would have been on time (does that make sense?).  However, it did come with some concerns.  I did not have extremely painful cramps, but I did have ridiculously uncomfortable pressure which is quite reminiscent of the days before my fibroid removal surgery.  At the risk of sounding more and more like a hypochondriac, I sent Witch Doctor a note and told her I probably needed an ultrasound.  She told me to come on in.  So, I set an appointment.  Oh!  but let me back up.  Before that, Witch Doctor sent me in for more blood work.  I got my estrogen and FSH checked on cycle day 2.  I'm waiting for results.

Anyway, I went backwards and forwards over whether to contact her.  But then I remembered the fact that my body had been telling me something was off for years.  Instead of thoroughly checking it out, I hoped that it was implantation or this or that.  Well, it wasn't any of that.  It was my DAMN fibroids eating well, growing, and destroying my uterus.

I came across the story of MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry.  I don't really watch her show.  I only really know her name because she popped up in a book a read.  Well, she just had a baby.  Ok, not really.  Her surrogate just had her baby.  Melissa's fibroids were so bad that she had her uterus removed.  She already had one child and didn't think she'd want another.  But she fell in love....and I'm sure you know how the story goes.  Anyway she did IVF.   She still had her ovaries.  She and her husband made some embryos, and a surrogate baked them.  You can read a better version of her story here.

Her tale kind of got my hopes up.  I started thinking that maybe Hubs and I could make some more embryos and do the same.  Then I remembered that I also have poor egg quality.  I also remembered that I'd already flushed 4 good embryos down the toilet and there's no guaranteeing I'd get as many good ones this time around.  Then I remembered I don't have the money for the lawyers and fees that come along with surrogacy.  So, I was kind of reduced to crying at the end of the entire thought process.

I'm a ball of sunshine, right?


  1. I am sending no fibroid vibes your way

  2. Man, this sucks. If you at least had one part of the equation going for you (shit eggs but awesome uterus, or vice versa) I think the way would be a lot clearer. I'm so sorry you're feeling hopeless right now. I hope you get some good results with your bloodwork and ultrasound.

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