Thursday, February 6, 2014

Hey Period, I'm Over Here!

I am on Cycle Day 37.  Don't get excited.  I am still NOT pregnant.  I know this because I've taken FOUR pregnancy tests.  Yes, they were all negative.  Normally, when I take a test my period finds me quickly.  This time around, the B*tch is still missing or lost or something.

I'm ready to order a lighted billboard to show Mrs. Period where to find me.  She's obviously confused somewhere.  WTF?

Let's all entertain ourselves with my latest exchange with Witch Doctor (WD).

Me:  "In case you're wondering, my period still has not found me.  I blame the weather."

WD:  "Could very much be the weather.  Or still a late ovulation and pregnancy (sorry to be so annoying about that)  omg, I must be so annoying!"

WELLLLLL..... No words have ever been more true:-) At least she knows she's annoying.  I can't get too mad because I'm sure I'm annoying the hell out of her too.  This is one of the reasons I keep giving her my money.  When I'm panicked, she finds time to personally respond to even the most ridiculous of my emails. 

So here's the thing.  I think Mrs. Period will find her way home by Monday.  I went from being consistently crampy to the point where I thought she was coming, to feeling pretty calm in the uterus.  That's the normal sign that she's on the way.  As I've mentioned in my last two posts, this is the longest time she's ever stayed away during a natural cycle.  Again, I've never had a cycle longer than 29/30 days in the last three years for sure.

I am still hoping for some sort of March egg retrieval.


  1. Ugh the unpredictability of Mrs. Period is super annoying! I hope she gets here soon so you can start your next cycle!

  2. Hi! Just browsing through FET blogs and saw this. The same thing happened to me last retrieval cycle - first period came as expected 5 days after I stopped progesterone, but the second? 40 days! I've had a 28 day cycle my entire menstruating life. I swear, if one more person asked me if I was pregnant... seriously, if that was even REMOTELY possible, I think I'd be on it! Hope you get it soon, so you can get on with the fun!

    1. Oh! Thanks for telling me. It's nice to know someone else had a similar experience. That makes me feel a lot better. I'm still annoyed with Mrs. Period though.

  3. Well, at least she knows she's annoying. You're making some kind of progress. Hope the bitch (AF, not your doctor) arrives soon.

  4. Your posts - while so serious - are almost always humorous. But at least she has a great attitude when you are being annoying. Here's hoping to success next month!

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