Friday, November 8, 2013

Bad Breakup

I decided to dump my shrink.  That woman is costing me too much damn money.  I came up with a plan, practiced it in my mind, and prepared to execute it.  But things didn't work out that way.  WTF?!

Here's what happened...

I decided to move forward with my final transfer with my rotten embryos, dubbed "The Rotties."  I figured that I no longer needed the shrink because if I use The Rotties, that effectively ends this chapter of my life.  However, I hadn't found a way to talk to my Hubby about this.  Somehow with the help of the Shrink, I got it all out.

I said that I was ready to do this, but only because I want to be done.  I wanted it all over by December 31st. My husband...he's still very hopeful.  It's hard sometimes because I can't be like that anymore.  It cost me too much last time, but it's selfish to snuff out his joy, right?

The doctor reminded nothing we feel is wrong and no ones feelings should be discounted.   She said my emotions will swell and I have to deal with that.

Damn!  With that, I couldn't dump her.  I realized I will need her guidance at least until this entire ordeal is over.  I just wish her services and trained wisdom were free.

So I emailed the witch doctor to get the party started.  She told me that if my cycle starts on time, the transfer and two week wait should be complete before the start of 2014.  I'd prefer to end 2013 with a negative, instead of starting the new year with such bad news.  I did that at the beginning of this year and it sucked.  Aside from my new job, this entire year sucked.

I didn't really know how I was going to pay for this, as my savings is depleted and I have a big loan to pay from the failed cycle.  Imagine my excitement when the doctor's office called to say that with my insurace, the bill for the transfer should be about $280.  Say what?  However, my insurance company could not say if the transfer would be counted as one of the three lifetime IVFs they help cover.

My doctor's office doesn't think it should, but of course, it's not their call.  Well, I can afford $280.  So yeah...All "Three Rotties" are going in and after December, I won't have to pay their rent anymore.  I'll be an empty-nester?  But I'll still make payments for that pesky loan that financed their creation.

Please remember that IVF is for suckers!


  1. I know that you're not holding out much hope, but I hope you don't mind if I hope for you! (Wow, that's a lot of hopes in one sentence)

    1. I certainly hope you'll hope for me. It's helps a bunch:-)

  2. I prayed for you the last time, so this time I'll pray even more. Sending some sticky baby dust your way

    1. Thank you for your prayers and kindness. I know I'm a bit of a mess, but I truly appreciate your support.