I went to this shrink so she could help me move forward with a life without children. I don't think she is helping at all.
I mean sure, she's helped me understand that I don't deal well with sadness, but that's not why I went to her. I went to her to help me end this yearning... this desire for children. Instead, it's bubbled back up to the surface.
*sigh* It's okay though. I won't let it consume me. I'll just deal with it. It's okay for me to want children. I'll deal with it. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. I can't have this. It's that simple.
I do things to cope. I told my husband about my thoughts, I wrote down the baby name that floated through my mind, and I blamed the shrink for helping all of this surface:-)
Now I have to make sure I tell her about them and hope that she makes me feel...un-crazy?
Oh who cares? I already know I'm crazy :-)
Babies aren't all I think about.
-I'm working out a little bit, despite my horrible knees
-I'm slowly, but surely reading an awesome book called, "In Search of Satisfaction."
-I think my thyroid may be a real issue, so I'm searching for a primary care physician to help me out.
-I resigned from my job. I'm waiting for my background check to come through so I can start a new gig. Holy Crap!