Thursday, June 9, 2011

Still Living & Learning

I waited all of this time to get my chance to ttc (trying to conceive) again.  I've tossed and turned and even panicked over it. looks like ttcing will be delayed!  The hubby is sick just in time for my fertile period:-(

The poor thing has a cough, a fever and generally feels like crap. Instead of me saying get better, I said, "oh no! No baby making for me." Being the sweetheart that he is, he tried to assure me that he would heal himself enough to give it a shot. 

It's so funny how the Lord works. After a feeling of confusion and desperation, I decided to find the lesson in this. I truly believe it is God's way of telling me to calm down and take it easy, which is funny because that's what my mom has been telling me to do. 

Sometimes it feels like I don't have time for patience. I want to get pregnant so badly. I want a baby so badly and I don't want to give my fibroids a chance to grow back. I mean...I pray every night for a healthy, fibroid-free uterus with unclogged Fallopian tubes and egg-gushing ovaries.  

BUT I need to focus on who I do have and He is my fantastic husband. Unfortunately, a couple of days ago, I only viewed him as sperm. Lol! Before my revelation, I was ready to write a blog bashing my mom and Both told me in some way to stop obsessing over getting pregnant.  I was furious and tired of people and websites making it seem like relaxation was my problem.  Now I see I was on the brink of driving myself nuts. 

I'm back, I'm fine. I'm going to buy a fertility monitor and move on.  My baby (or the cosmos) obviously doesn't want to be born in March so he/she is waiting for a later conception date. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it:-)

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