Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Left Tube? Gone!

Sooooo I planned to have a fibroid removal surgery this week.  I felt physically awful after my October retrieval, which netted absolutely no usable embryos.  A lump in my abdomen was growing.  I was sure my fibroids were doing a dirty dance and needed to be removed pronto.  I even moved the surgery up by two weeks.  Well, during the pre-op appointment I tested positive for pregnancy.  Say what?

Here's how the conversation went.

Doctor:  When was your last period?
Me:  I don't know.  It was for my last retrieval. (I looked at my phone and learned my last period was September 25th. It was November 3rd. )
Doctor:  Well, you tested positive for pregnancy.  We tested it twice. I don't think this could be a trigger shot.
Me:  That doesn't make any sense.  I'll call my RE.  Don't worry about it.  This is stupid.  Continue on because I'm having surgery next week.

Well, the RE wanted me to come to her office on that day, which I thought was odd.  I couldn't go because the surgeon's office is more than an hour away from her office and I had to go to work.  I went in the next day.  Of course, there was nothing in my uterus because we all know I can't get pregnant. The RE thought she saw something on the far left.  When she checked my beta it was at 4,000+.  That thing on the far left was my fallopian tube being stretched by a damn embryo.  I had surgery the next day.  They couldn't save my tube.  They also couldn't tackle the fibroids because they said the pregnancy hormone causes too much blood flow in the uterus.  Great!  Now I have to go back to get knifed up again in 3 to 4 months.

Guys, my left tube was allegedly my good one.  The doctor had concerns about the right one that were never confirmed.  Now we know something in the left wasn't letting that embryo pass, but that's okay.  I'm pretty sure the pregnancy would have ended badly because that batch of eggs was terrible.

I'm hurt.  The RE says an egg obviously slipped out before the retrieval and the Hubs left some sperm that were ready to go.  I didn't get to feel any joy of a pregnancy, yet I'd achieved something I couldn't do in 8 years.  That's fine.  I didn't experience heartbreak because there was no attachment.  For me, that embryo was never a baby, but a problem that needed to be removed because everyone feared it would rupture my tube and kill me.  Whatever.

It feels like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.  I have used up my insurance.  I am in deep debt.  I no longer have confidence in any of this.  I don't think I can continue with Assisted Reproductive Technology any more.  I can't afford it, and I'm no longer willing to gamble on it.  However, I'll take supplements and go to the acupuncture dude in case there's a miracle out there for me.

I will get the fibroid surgery in four months because this surgeon was top notch.  My incisions look fantastic and I didn't wake up in pain.  As I mentioned before, once I'm done with that, it's just me and acupuncture dude.  I'm 34.  This set back would mean I couldn't do anything for nearly a year anyway.
I told the Hubs it's time to look at adoption.

I go back to work today, after two weeks of recovery.  I've got to say, I'm happy to go.  It sucks being off because someone popped open your belly button.  Ugh!  It also sucks having to file for temporary disability for two freaking weeks.  ugh!  It's going to be really annoying when I have to file for a month with the fibroid surgery.


  1. What the shit?!?!?!? First off, I'm so glad you're ok! That could have been seriously dangerous, and I'm glad they caught it in time to avoid any really dangerous complications. Losing that tube is no joke, though. That sounds like some more than serious negligence on the part of your RE. Isn't she the one you used to call the "witch doctor"? Eggs just don't "slip out" before retrieval!! Especially not viable ones that result in pregnancies! Have you considered going to talk to another RE to get a second opinion? I'm just wondering, if your RE bungled this part so bad, maybe she's been equally bad at your stim cycles/retrievals/fertilizations/cultivations. But maybe you don't want to go there; that's up to you. Again, I'm just so glad you're ok.

  2. Aramis, she is indeed Witch Doctor. I have to tell you I'm so confused. I keep asking myself is this a common mistake? Should I be angry with her? Should I be angry with myself? I knew something was wrong, but all the symptoms matched overzealous fibroids. I have thought about going to another doctor, but it seems like so much work to go through my terribly long and depressing history. Now that I have exhausted all of my benefits, a new doc is a moot point.

  3. This is terrifying that all of this was missed! I'm glad to hear you're okay.

    1. Thanks. I guess I'm kind of shocked by it all.

  4. In case this happens to someone else, I feel I should leave some symptoms. I failed to do that in the post. My period never came. I was bleeding (doctor's call it spotting). Some days it was enough for a tampon (but I had also been spotting since before my retreival). I had a lump in my abdomen. My husband could feel it. I was tired. More tired than usual. I was taking naps and late for work every day for a week. I could not function. All of those things are also symptoms of fibroids. That's why I moved up my surgery. I was wrong about the fibroids, as was the doctor. Ladies, if you are undergoing fertility treatments, just take a pregnancy test for the hell of it. Even if it feels ridiculous. I may have been able to keep my tube, if I had done that.

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  6. Positive energy always results in a positive impact. Really, I am very glad to know that you are OK.

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