Fertility Monitor Fail!

Soooo.... my $200 piece of electronic snake oil has failed.  That's right my clear blue easy fertility monitor is already jacked up.

It is stuck on day 8, so that means it ain't monitoring a dang thing.  I don't know what I did with the booklet of directions, but I'm on the hunt for it.  I plan to call the 1-800-number and get some info.  It's not fair to be infertile AND have a broken fertility monitor, is it?

Well, I'm off to indulge in something that never lets me down: a soy pumpkin spice latte.

P.S.  I guess the hubby and I will just have to "go at it like rabbits" and hope for a miracle.

Interruptions

So I've been so excited about my trip to Vegas and my new job that I didn't take the time to consider how jacked up this cycle is about to get.

My next two weeks will be very busy and I won't be with my husband for a couple of days.  I have a sneaking suspicion that those days will be my fertile days. Grrr!  The old fertility monitor says I'm on cycle day eleven and my hormone levels are still low *shaking head in disgust*!

I am so happy that I have something to do besides obsess over creating my baby angel, but I hate wasting precious months.  I mean... when it gets down to it, we only have 12 opportunities a year to get it done.  Time is not on my side.

Oh well, I will concentrate on the positive. 

So here's the list.

1. I get to take my fertility monitor on a trip.  I'll get to see how "she" handles airport security and a visit with my mother.

2.  The two week wait shouldn't be much of a problem because you can't be pregnant, if you don't hit the sweet spot (if you know what I mean).

3. I'm going to have some fun (just not at the critical baby-making time).

Nope!

Well, just like that *snap*... the two week wait is over.  I'm not even sure it was a full two weeks.  I think it was a few days short.  There was no suspense at all.  Aunt Flo is here two days early.  She didn't come in with much of a bang. It was kind of like a quiver.  BUT I know the cramps will get worse as the day progresses and my heart will ache as well.

Since I am trying to be optimistic about this losing battle I take on every single month, I will say two positive things.

1.  At least I get to drink A LOT during my trip to Vegas.



2.  I get to spend more quality time with my nearly $200 piece of electronic snake oil, also known as my fertility monitor.  I mean heck...just because I paid a lot for it doesn't mean it should help me get a miracle on the first try, right?

Whatever!  Here's to hoping the rest of this day doesn't suck.  Advil, here I come!

A Flare For The Dramatics

Yes! Yes, I have a flare for the dramatics.  I like things to go my way and as you can see, my attempts to get pregnant haven't gone my way.  Hence, my previous post of degradation and despair.  BUT.. the best part of about being me, is that I bounce back.  Sometimes it's not a full bounce, but a bounce nontheless.

Anyways, I have decided to bond with my nearly $200 fertility montior.

 I figured we better do something because that's a lot of money to waste for a girl who has a temporary part-time job at the moment.  So, if you don't know what a fertility monitor is, I'm sorry because I don't either.

Just kidding.

It's a white plastic looking thing that could be mistaken for a knock-off Nintendo game boy (do they still make those?)  I'm pretty sure it's a waste of money that plays on the emotions of the infertile, but that's not what it claims.  It claims to be a step above ovulation prediction sticks.  It tracks your estrogen and luneinizing hormones to predict five fertile days.  The ovulation sticks only track the luteininzing hormone and predict two highly fertile days at best.

The first month with the fertility monitor is what I like to call an investment month.   You're getting to know the machine and it's getting to know you.  You set it on the first day of your period.  It's all pretty complicated, but simple because you have to set it for the time you would wake up and take your first pee each morning.

On the sixth day of my cycle, it instructed me to start peeing on these expensive and specialized sticks that clear blue easy sells. 

So, I'll pee on those sticks and stick them in the machine for the next ten days.  The machine is tracking my hormone levels and I'm hoping it will eventually predict the prime time for baby making. Lord knows, I haven't found it in the past five years.

So here's to hoping the fertility monitor isn't just $200 worth of electronic snake oil.

I plan to use this thing for the next six months.  If my baby doesn't drop in by then, I'll be going back to a fertility doctor.  I can't go to my old one because I live clear across the country from her now.  I'm just really hoping my robotic myomectomy will give me a real chance at conceiving.  Sadly, I don't think it is at the moment.  It's been five months since my surgery and two months since we could officially begin trying.  I'm still not pregnant, but now that I crunch the numbers, it really doesn't seem that bad.