Crazy?

What if I told you I went through my medical records and found the genders of my embryo-twins?


Does that make me crazy?


What if I told you the dog below runs my LIFE?

I'm crazy, right?

Sh*t Happens

Shit!

I started researching new doctors.  I am broke!  Why the hell am I looking up new doctors?  I must be the dumbest person on the entire earth.

I thought I found a decent candidate, but she ended her YouTube video by saying, "women just need to be open to the journey."  That's like saying the abused should just be open to the journey.  Be open to the fist slamming into your face!

I guess I am open to the fist slamming into my face. Otherwise I wouldn't have been googling.

Note to self: stop googling charlatans known as infertility specialists.

The place storing my embryos is implementing a new policy.  They want everyone to sign up for electronic payment.  The wording of the note made it sound mandatory.  I have to call to get this all straightened out.  I pay my bills on time, but I pay them when I want to.  I don't like having automation.    I'd rather just give a lump sum payment for the year.

Anyway their little note made me realize I have to do something.  I have to give the embryos a try or let them thaw out.


Double Shit!

I wish I lived in the world of Mad Men. I'd be sipping a strong, VERY STRONG cocktail right now.
I had a shrink appointment this week.  Of course I cancelled it.  Here's a secret: I made another one.  Maybe I'll actually go this time.  I can't believe I need to pay someone to listen to me rant out loud.  Is that a sign of narcissism or self-importance?  Maybe I should just go to confession.  According to Mad Men, the priests listen for free.



Triple Shit!

I really messed up my knee.  I don't know what to do.  I need to do something fast though.  My weight is disturbing.


Oh what the hell...shots anyone?

More Money

Me:  I would like to request a copy of my records.

Doctor's office employee:  It takes about a week.  Do you want them sent to a doctor or to you?

Me:  Send them to me.

Doctor's office employee:  We charge $35.


Of course they charge $35.  *sigh*  I paid the fee.  I really wish I had bought a fancy car, instead of trying IVF.  I shall repeat my mantra of late, "IVF is for suckers!"

Chivalry is Dead

A very pregnant woman walked onto a packed train.  I watched as another rider quickly jumped up so the future mommy could have a seat.  Guest what?  That courteous person was NOT a man.  It was a another female rider.

The men did not blink an eye.  I'm used to men not offering me a seat.  It's sad, but I'm used to it.  I'm of the ordinary variety.  But I'm still stunned that men will watch a pregnant woman or an older woman struggle on a long train ride and act like they don't see it.

If I was of the reproducing kind, I would teach my son some manners.  It's gotten quite ridiculous.  I'm all for gender equality and all, but damn,  I'm a freakin' lady.  Treat me as such.

I say all of this knowing full well that I got my pregnant co-worker/friend to drive me to lunch.  I should be trying to help her, not bumming a ride.  LOL! I'm just kidding.  I know pregnancy is not an illness.

I'm Old

I'm old and my knees still hurt.  *sigh*  I just ordered some new shoes and hopefully that will help.  This week, I am jumping back into Turbo Fire and I'm forcing my little dog to go on a longer walk (20 minutes, instead of five minutes).  Her laziness is only encouraging my sedentary lifestyle and that is not a good thing (but I still love her to pieces).

I'm hoping this week is a good week.  Last week wasn't so good for me. I'll write about it when I'm not so embarrassed by it.

Now let's talk about happier stuff.

I've finished all three seasons of Downton Abbey!  I need season four PRONTO!  I am almost finished with season 2 of Mad Men.  I like this show, but I think Downton Abbey is better:-)

I just started a book called Flight Behaviour by Barbara Kingsolver.  So far, it's good. Unfortunately, I've been reading it on my iPhone and guess what?  My eyes hurt.  I need some glasses and that further proves that I'm simply OLD.  I'm starting to wonder if my parents are lying about my date of birth:-)

Listen To Me!

If you are considering IVF and you can't pay cash for it, DON'T DO IT.  Listen to me, PLEASE!  It sucks being in debt for something that failed. Seriously! If  you don't have the cash, don't do it.  It's that simple.  Don't fall for the con job.  No cash, no IVF.  That's it.  I used to think people who advised this were bitter.  They are.  They are bitter and smart.  They know. LISTEN!

I took out a $20,000+ loan for this crap based on the doctor office's calculations.  Well guess what?  I just got a bill in the mail for another $1700 dollars.  It's for stuff that should have been covered in the money that was already sent to the damn office.  I sent a detailed and nasty email to them, to which I received a response saying they will investigate.  GREAT!

Also, keep up with all of your receipts.  Don't be an idiot like me.

Anyway back to the bill.  The Doctor sent me two detailed sheets of my charges and payments.  Apologized for including the $1300 FET, which was already paid.  She also said she'd waive the additional charges since they weren't properly explained to me.  She dropped this gem too.

"I don't get involved in things like this but in this case, I have decided to be the one to follow-up because of how important you are to me."

Important my ass.  Once again, I told her I didn't want her charity.  I sent her a check (I didn't call in my credit card number because someone forgot to post the payment I tried to make in June so I could be done with this sh*t) for the near $400.  She's really getting on my nerves with that crap.  Either she was cheating me to begin with, she knows she did something wrong or she thinks I want a handout.  I won't begin to explain the stereotypes that conjures up for me.  It really angers me.  I don't want anything for free. I know it was my choice to undergo those treatments.  I don't expect anyone to pick up the tab, but me.  I just don't like STUPID mistakes.

For the most part, her staff is excellent, but seriously! To charge someone for something they've already paid for, after it has failed.... Why don't you just stab me in the stomach?  No really.  That would be easier to handle.

There is a good part to all of this.  As I mentioned before, I did a piss poor job keeping up with receipts and such.  Well, now they are all printed out on a nice spread sheet.  Plus, I paid for everything with a credit card, so I'm able to print out the payments for meds.  I'm not sure exactly what I can use during tax time, but I'm sure it's something.  Now I don't have to ask for this stuff later.  Hooray for me!

Now, I'm just hoping to be done with all of this for good.  I've paid every bill that's come my way.  Hopefully no more will arrive.  I need to just be finished with it.

Remember!  No cash, no IVF.  Say no to IVF loans.  Just say NO!

Am I The Only One?

Am I the only person tired of the Royal baby watch?  I thought this was the United States.  Let the Queen and them have their moment.  I don't need it and I certainly don't want it. Ugh!  Just tell me when this lucky-ass child is born.  I don't need daily updates on absolutely nothing.