The Visit

At the risk of his own safety, the hubby woke me up at the crack of dawn (ok. it was 7:45am) and got me going to that dreaded RE appointment.  The bonus? He bought me a tasty latte:-)

The appointment was interesting.  I felt no emotions during it.  In fact, I fought the urge to sleep in the big, comfy chairs in the doctor's office.  I thought this appointment would be to start all over.  I was wrong.  It was kind of a postmortem for the failure.

The doctor told us that my negative came with a string of  other non-positives for her office and it shook her up.  She explained that she never questioned my tubes before the failure, but since the embryos didn't stick, despite being chromosomally normal, that was one of the variables that she figured could have gone wrong for us.

When I got my negative, I was very angry that she immediately referenced the Fallopian tube issue and questioned why she didn't throw out that scenario before the transfer.  Well as you can see, she explained away that problem.

She also told us that the two other folks who got negatives at the same time as me are now happily pregnant because they tried again.  Alright...I guess I felt some emotion at that point.  I kind of wanted to slap her.  Sorry that I'm not rich and I couldn't risk more of my hard-earned money on a chance.  But, the feeling wasn't really that strong.  I just figured my non-trying-non-pregnancy-non-luck is just par for the course with me.  

Anyway I digress.  She went on to say that two of my three remaining embryos are really good.  If we did a transfer, she'd want to put all three in.  Something about that angered me, which is funny because I've always said that if I did another transfer, I'd just put them all in to get it over with.

I left feeling like she really didn't care and I didn't really care.  But upon speaking with my husband, I realized that he really does care.  So no matter what, I will take this next step for him.  I don't know when I'll begin a protocol, but I'll do it.

Gosh, my blog is really depressing, right?  Ugh!

I promise that it will become more light-hearted soon.  In just two weeks, my beloved puppy will be coming home.  I'm sure I will have plenty of posts about him driving me nuts because as the breeder's daughter told us, he's a whiner:-)  He confirmed the assessment during our visit last weekend.  I'm just hoping Roxie is nice to him.