Thanks, Beyonce. I'm glad to know you get everything: talent, fame, success and a baby! I'm totally jealous and I want a Beyonce Belly!
A few weeks ago, Beyonce's baby news would have sent me spiraling into tears and depression, but not now. At this moment, I am hoping and praying that I will experience the same joy she feels. Every time I look at the picture above, I am amazed at the sheer happiness on her face. It is beautiful and I can't wait for my time.
Today, a friend of mine posted something interesting on Facebook. She's engaged and went to her first pre-marriage counseling session. The preacher basically told her to thank God, before she actually gets whatever blessing she desires. As I sat in my chair staring at the post, I started thanking him for my future child. I don't know when my baby will arrive or how, but I am already thankful for her or him.
Now...on a side note: I forgot to pack my fertility monitor when I went out of town. I hope I didn't mess up the thing. I need that $200 piece of electronic snake oil to at least appear to be giving me useful information.
So I've been so excited about my trip to Vegas and my new job that I didn't take the time to consider how jacked up this cycle is about to get.
My next two weeks will be very busy and I won't be with my husband for a couple of days. I have a sneaking suspicion that those days will be my fertile days. Grrr! The old fertility monitor says I'm on cycle day eleven and my hormone levels are still low *shaking head in disgust*!
I am so happy that I have something to do besides obsess over creating my baby angel, but I hate wasting precious months. I mean... when it gets down to it, we only have 12 opportunities a year to get it done. Time is not on my side.
Oh well, I will concentrate on the positive.
So here's the list.
1. I get to take my fertility monitor on a trip. I'll get to see how "she" handles airport security and a visit with my mother.
2. The two week wait shouldn't be much of a problem because you can't be pregnant, if you don't hit the sweet spot (if you know what I mean).
3. I'm going to have some fun (just not at the critical baby-making time).
I drank A LOT of frozen margaritas and I got to spend some quality time with my husband.
The best part of it all is when I came home, I was offered a full-time position at my job. It really is great. I have lots to smile about right now. Of course, having a baby is never really far from my mind, but at this point it is really great to say I have other things to occupy my time.
1. my job
2. my hair (did you see that picture? my 'do is definitely a work in progress)
3. my doggies
You're probably wondering where my husband is on that list. Well, don't worry. He is omnipresent in my mind and heart, just like the man upstairs. I truly can't say how grateful I am for the place I'm in right now. I'm hoping to accomplish big things, while still trying to make a baby. I just can't let the best parts of life pass me by:-)
Sooooo.... I didn't get pregnant this time around, but I got a different sort of blessing in the form of a great opportunity. Now, I have to find a way to focus and figure what the best option is for me. AANNNDDDD... let's not forget: VEGAS IS JUST DAYS AWAY.
I think I'll use this space to add a little spice and happiness to my blog.
Life is feeling pretty good right now. I hope I can say the same thing tomorrow:-)
Well, just like that *snap*... the two week wait is over. I'm not even sure it was a full two weeks. I think it was a few days short. There was no suspense at all. Aunt Flo is here two days early. She didn't come in with much of a bang. It was kind of like a quiver. BUT I know the cramps will get worse as the day progresses and my heart will ache as well.
Since I am trying to be optimistic about this losing battle I take on every single month, I will say two positive things.
1. At least I get to drink A LOT during my trip to Vegas.
2. I get to spend more quality time with my nearly $200 piece of electronic snake oil, also known as my fertility monitor. I mean heck...just because I paid a lot for it doesn't mean it should help me get a miracle on the first try, right?
Whatever! Here's to hoping the rest of this day doesn't suck. Advil, here I come!
I'm a week away from the predicted start of my period... and going to Las Vegas!
As you can imagine, this is a crazy scenario. If I'm pregnant, I'll be BEYOND happy. If I'm not pregnant, I can drink like a mad woman in Sin City. Fantastic, right? This trip to Vegas was totally a spontaneous booking and I couldn't have planned things any better.
This is the month that I decided to take back my sanity and not allow another BFN to send me spiraling into depression. This is CRAZY. I'm in a win-win situation this month. I hope it sets the standard for things to come. I like Winning :-)
I love television. I just do. There are some shows that I can't stop watching, even though they break my little infertile heart. I've decided to give a list of shows that this baby-yearning-woman can't stop watching. Some are good and some just make me angry (with God...I mean let's be honest here).
Oh Yeah, you knew they were coming!
16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom!
The producers of these shows say their main goal is to remind teens that sex can equal an unplanned pregnancy. Let me tell you what the show really does. It makes teens and adults gasp and laugh alike, but I doubt it does anything to prevent teen pregnancy. HOWEVER, it does piss me off. I think to myself, "you're married, educated and MATURE! Why does God give this ridiculous child a baby and not me? Why is it not my time?"
Of course there is no answer to my question. Once I get over myself, I become thoroughly entertained by the show. I mean really...it's unbelievable that these people are putting their train wreck lives on air like that. It's also pretty sad when you think about it.
Next up is....
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
First things first. I will always love this show because one of my high school classmates played one of the women in a reenactment.
Buuuut let's get on with this. This show gives this desperately-trying-to-conceive woman unrealistic hope. I know it shouldn't, but it does. The women on this show are ridiculously lucky in my eyes. Each time I see a story where a woman takes a pregnancy test, gets a negative and miraculously gives birth to a surprise baby three months later, I think maybe my last pregnancy test and period were wrong---NOT!
Then there's Rosie Pope' show, Pregnant in Heels
The first time I watched this show, it pissed me off. There were whinny women who hired Mrs. Pope to help them "prepare" for the baby. It wasn't preparation in the way a woman like me would need. I might want some company shopping because my family lives clear across the country from me. I'd also need some info on diapers, the best products and ideas for day care.
These women needed those things, but they were rich and some seemed like the baby was an imposition and not a blessing. Of course, after Rosie gets in there, they change their tune.
All in all, I like this show. Once I realized I was just jealous of those women, I was able to enjoy it. I try my best to learn little lessons so that if I'm ever blessed with an angel, I'll have some ideas of how to get things started as a parent.
I can't end this post without mentioning shows I used to watch on Discovery Health Channel-- 'Birth Day' and all the other shows that centered around pregnancy and giving birth. I really miss those shows.
I think the only person that reads my blog is my husband, but if you happen to NOT be him. Maybe you can tell me some of your favorite "baby" shows.
Oh man! I promised I wouldn't go through another two week wait (tww) thinking about THE TWO WEEK WAIT. But I can't help it. The thrill of thinking I could be pregnant totally outweighs what I know will be the outcome--depression.
I've done everything to try to keep my mind off of it. Keep in mind, I'm only two days into it. I've tried to drown my mind in researching new, organic products for my hair. I have taken dozens of pictures of my cute doggie, Roxie.
But nothing is working. That crazy fertiity monitor makes me think there's a real chance this time around, even though every month I think there's a real chance. Oh well. I'm going to keep hoping and praying. BUT...I am going to make a real effort this time around not to become so bumbed IF my baby doesn't pick this month to begin his/her journey to life.
